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Transcript – 5 Ways to Break Free from Mental Barriers
Shawn: Hello BioTrust Nation, we are back with another episode of BioTrust Radio. And we are excited to be here. I’m here with my most amazing, super-smart, super good‑looking, super‑friendly, super‑kind, Tim Skwiat.
Tim: Hello friends.
Shawn: And I love this guy, so much. If you guys have ever interacted with him, you know why I love him so much. He’s just a ball of positive energy, and just exudes kindness and compassion. It’s what makes our show great. Tim and I really love doing this show with each other and we love bringing these episodes to you, and hopefully you appreciate it. And if you do appreciate it, we would love to see you do it in the form of a review on iTunes. That would probably be the best place, but we appreciate you listening to it wherever you listen into it. And even if you listen on Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher, all those different places, we would still appreciate if you went to iTunes and did a review there, because that’s just where it matters most in terms of algorithms and whatnot. And if you do we appreciate it and we will show you our appreciation by giving you a free product of your choice, if you just email us at [email protected].
Tim: That’s right, Shawn. I’ve got a review to share with our listeners today. Another 5-star review on iTunes. This one’s titled, Keto Podcast Episode, and it was left by PirateLifeFam from Seattle.
Shawn: [laughs] Okay.
Tim: So, thanks PirateLifeFam from Seattle, who says, “Great listen. Covered pretty much everything keto. I’ve listened to quite a few podcasts covering keto, but still learn new stuff and useful tips. Thanks y’all.” Yeah, so that’s the review from today, and so PirateLifeFam, thank you so much for taking the time to leave that. We know that it’s an extra step to do that. And as a token of our appreciation, if you email us at [email protected], we’ll send you a free BioTrust product of your choice.
Shawn: And speaking of keto, which we love, talking about that here, we will link the show that he’s referring to, our super keto episode, in the show notes. We’ve covered quite a bit on keto, I think exhaustively, and I’m really proud of how we covered it, I think, in a very non-hyperbolic fashion. I will say, in a way that’s very rational and pragmatic.
Tim: Pragmatic, for sure.
Shawn: So, the next thing that we do is we usually do a question that’s asked either by email or by the VIP Facebook group, which is at BioTrust.com/VIP. We also appreciate you joining the community there and interacting with the people there, and certainly asking us questions. And when you ask a question and we read it on the air, we will also give you a free product. So, what’s a good question here.
Tim: That’s right. So, this one’s from Jeffery Jackson, and Jeffery asks, “What is more important to losing weight, cardio or lifting weights, or a combination of both?”
Shawn: Cardio and lifting weights. What’s more important to losing weight? You might know specific studies here, but I’m off the top of my head, I feel it depends. We always say that.
Shawn: But the cardio answer, if the cardio is HIIT style cardio, then I would say that’s the single best thing you can do to probably optimize body composition, improve vo2 max, and all those kinds of things. So doing the walk-jog-run, whatever, changing up the pace and going exhaustively, maximally, for a certain period of time and then going back down. Pacing yourself and then going back into it again, and doing that repeatedly until you can’t do it any longer. If you want to know more about HIIT, Tim can link that again in the show notes at BioTrustRadio.com.
But I’m a big fan of lifting weights, or certainly body composition, bone mineral density, maintaining strength, neuromuscular connection, knowing how to use your body. Proprioception, which means the awareness of your body in space. So, think of a receiver in football that touches his feet down on that sideline while he’s catching the ball. That’s a great example of proprioception. How is he aware of when his body’s falling, where to put his feet and drag his feet to stay in bounds, but catch the ball. There’s a lot going on there, neurologically. There’s a lot happening. And it’s really kind of miraculous what is taking place in the brain, and neuromuscularly, to do all that. And that takes significant amount of training and conditioning to do that.
But I think all those things are important with weight training. Just, I love weight training. An extension of what I’m saying is learn how to activate my body and use my muscles appropriately. And it just adds to a better life. If you can do squats, if you can activate your glutes and your core, you get a better quality of life. So, I feel the two things I would do is do proper strength training with a trainer, learn how to do it correctly, in the correct positions and forms. Because that’s very important; otherwise, you can be doing compensations and you can hurt yourself. And I think it’s just important to get that training. And then I would do some HIITs that could be in the form of, like I said, sprints or something. That could be in a pool or there’s a variety of ways you can do HIIT. But those are, I think, the best ways.
I wouldn’t do cardio. Well, I wouldn’t prioritize cardio. The traditional 80s sense of cardio, like getting on a bike for an hour, [chuckles] getting on the treadmill for an hour. Look if you’re not maximally doing something, then there’s going to be no real adaptation. You’re burning calories when you’re on the treadmill, sure. You’re moving, sure. That’s good. That’s better than not moving. I mean, I certainly give you credit there but when you’re not at 95%, when you’re not at 98%, when you’re not really pushing your body to a certain limit—and we talked about this with stoicism and that mindset—it’s the same thing. You’re not making adaptations. You’re just simply moving and burning some calories. And so, you’re not going to change your body composition, you’re not going to change hormonal output, you’re not going to change neurological connections, you’re not going to make these great adaptations. And there’s so many that are happening with what I’m talking about with HIIT, or certainly with strength training. That’s just not happening with “cardio.”
Tim: Nicely done, dude. That’s really good.
Shawn: You might know some better studies that have put them head-to-head or something like that.
Tim: This is a case where I’d probably put my actual experience ahead of any studies, just but because there’s just limitations to what you can draw from the research. You can’t compare all the methods and all the different types of people, necessarily.
Shawn: Sorry, if you guys don’t know, when Tim says “his experience,” it’s not Joe Blow experience. This is, again, our Director of Scientific Affairs. He has a master’s in what is it?
Tim: Exercise Physiology.
Shawn: Exercise Physiology. He’s a Certified Strength and Conditioning Coach, a certified trainer. He’s trained professional athletes. He’s trained collegiate athletes. He has a ton of experience here. So, when he’s talking about this, and he’s in personally in great shape, as well, so when he’s talking about this, it’s not just, “Hey, here’s my opinion.”
Tim: This what I read on the Internet.
Shawn: [laughs] Yeah.
Tim: Yeah, thank you. Thanks, Shawn. Yeah, I think something to delineate here, Jeff, in the question. When you talk about weight loss, what Shawn and I specifically consider—what we’re going to talk about specifically is quality weight loss. And what I mean by that is we want to emphasize fat loss while maintaining, or better yet, building lean muscle. And so that’s why we would preferentially go with something weight training, which is going to be the only type of exercise, or the most effective type of exercise to build muscle. And interval training, like Shawn was talking about, High Intensity Interval Training, which is going to be a much more time‑efficient.
When you compare High-Intensity Interval Training to traditional cardio, you can get similar metabolic benefits and VO2 max benefits, provided that you’re using progressive training methods for both. But the interval training is much more time‑efficient. Now, something that I to experiment with myself and that I’ve used with clients before is kind of a hybrid. Some people might call it metabolic resistance training.
Tim: Yeah, like kind of like a CrossFit.
Shawn: Yeah, I love that kind of training.
Tim: High intensity resistance training. So, a couple of examples. One, I have a little bit of a limited time to train, so I might choose two or three exercises and put the clock on 10 minutes and just circuit through those three exercises. So maybe a deadlift, pull‑ups, and an overhead press, and just hammer out as many sets as I can in that 10‑minute timeframe. Sometimes maybe even throw in a 30-second rowing session in‑between the circuits. So, just trying to get through those as quickly as I can. And it’s pretty intense. It’s basically like an interval.
Another example would be to take a kettlebell and do 20 seconds of kettlebell swings, and then take a 10 to 20 second break and then do 20 seconds of push-ups, and just alternate that for eight minutes or something that. So, those are just a couple examples of what I mean by that. But just using resistance training as somewhat of a conditioning tool. I don’t necessarily like that if you want to build maximum strength or muscle, but if the goal is quality weight loss, it’s a good tool.
Shawn: I agree. Yeah. And, you know, this sounds super obvious, but I like the mindset of it is the most important rep is the last rep. And the most important seconds when you’re doing High-Intensity Interval Training is the last few seconds that you push yourself. When you’re ready to say, “I can’t go any longer. I’m done.” There is a book, I think it’s by Jesse Itzler about the Navy SEAL that that stayed with him in his house, and he talked about that there’s data that shows we have about 40% in our reserve when we think we’re done. That’s a survival mechanism. And of course, a Navy SEAL gets adept at [chuckles] tapping into that 40%.
Shawn: So, whenever we think we’re done, we’re not done. And if you want to make adaptations and overcome mental barriers, you want to go above and beyond where you’re at currently, then you have to learn to embrace the suck. [laughs] Going back to Jocko Willink, another Navy Seal. But learn how to go into that, tap into that, and realize that, yes, it’s pain, but this is where the change happens — and how we break through mental barriers. And that’s a stoicism mindset, too, that applies to so many other things in life.
But this is where change is happening. The “no pain, no gain,” like the old adage, I mean you don’t want to do something painful that’s hurting your body in terms of injuries. But you do want to learn how to overcome the pain of exercise. Being stressed, feeling like you can’t go on, feeling like you can’t get another rep. And even if you can’t get another rep, let’s say I’m doing a bench press and I can’t get another rep above my head, then I’m going to hold it as long as I can at the bottom. And then when I can’t hold it any longer, I just drop the weights beside me, safely, hopefully. But that’s important that if you want to make adaptation, you’ve got to learn how to tap into that. And I think that’s one of the most important things about training.
And speaking of metabolic conditioning, like that CrossFit style training, some people discard it and talk about. It’s not as good, to your point, as for cardio. It’s not as good as strength training for just mass or just straight strength. No, it is a hybrid and there is some amazing adaptation that’s taking place though. How often are you pushing yourself to do sometimes complex muscular, neuromuscular tasks when you’re that exhausted, that ready to give up? And you’re already tapping into these other fuel sources, lactate and everything else. And that’s something that your body is not used to and will, again, give you new adaptations that I think are amazing.
I love training that way sometimes. If you guys have never trained CrossFit style or metabolic conditioning style, you don’t have to be at a CrossFit to train that way. You can talk to your trainer about setting up some metabolic conditioning. There’s Camp Gladiator, there’s F45, I think is the new gym that’s getting popular. There’s some other kind of CrossFit-like kind of gyms that are there popping up. And even your gym at Powerhouse or Lifetime Fitness or 24-Hour, they may have some programs there that these boot camps that are kind of similar to that. I love that style of training.
And it really does go back to actually military training. That’s ultimately what it is. Boot camp-style training was metcon before CrossFit, right? And you can see guys make incredible adaptations, incredible body composition changes during that time, because it is cardio, it is strength training, it is all of it. It’s this ultimate hybrid. It’s High-Intensity Interval Training. It’s all of it. So, that’s my answer.
Tim: Yeah, that’s awesome. Just one final note before we delve into the topic is that you just have to implement these tools intelligently. And you can certainly do too much. Just even with the progressions and pushing yourself outside that comfort zone, you have to implement those intelligently as well. You can’t expect to always put more weight on the bar. You can’t always expect to do more reps with a certain amount of weight. It’s important to do that so you’re not always doing the same thing, but you have to know when to quote the song, “Know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em.” And so, that that’s where a coach comes into play.
Tim: And they can use tools, like an Oura ring, to track HRV, Heart Rate Variability, which might tell you when you are better prepared to go in for an intense workout. So, just because we’re talking about intense workouts doesn’t mean you should or should expect yourself to always go 100%. It’s just not intelligent to do that.
Shawn: Agreed. Yeah, there’s the potential for injury through compensations. You’ve probably seen that guy at the gym who’s doing curls and he’s just [laughs] literally just jacking it up, getting momentum and swing, and it rests at the top where it hits his shoulders, and he’s arching his back as he’s swinging it back. He’s screaming. And there’s so many compensations that are happening. Is that a momentum type exercise? Is that a lower back exercise? What’s going on there? There’s way too much going on. That’s not like the old concentration curl, where you’re literally focusing on the bicep. Those are two very different things.
So, to Tim’s point, it’s important to have a trainer. It’s important to gauge your body. It’s important to not compensate and involve certain muscle groups that shouldn’t be involved, where you can get injuries and create weaknesses and imbalances.
Tim: And don’t take up a squat rack for curls. [laughs]
Shawn: There you go. [chuckles] That’s 100%. If we if we only get that out of you, that’s enough.
Tim: Take-home point.
Shawn: [laughs] So, getting into the show, what’s holding you back? Five Ways to Break Free from Mental Barriers. We will link to this article in the show notes. It’s by Chantal M. Gagnon, who is a PhD. This one hit me, I think, just so many great points here. Points that we’ve talked about, but an incredible summary about overcoming mental barriers. And it starts right off with, “Get rid of the fear of failure.” And she says, “This is a big one. Many people are afraid of failure. What’s that all about? What is so bad about failure? First of all, let’s establish that failure isn’t going to kill you or cause bodily harm. And the good news is that it will teach you things you need to know. There’s a piece of wisdom that says life is the hardest teacher because she gives you the test before the lesson.” That’s a really good quote. “That’s failure. Failure is how you learn. Failure is a necessary component of success. Let me repeat that in a different way. It is not possible to really succeed without failing first. By simply shifting your perception of failure as something to be avoided, to something that is here to help you and teach you to the path of success, failure can become your best ally.”
And we have talked about this in a prior show that we will certainly link here. We talk about this quite a bit, but this certainly echoes our thoughts. And it was one of the reasons I really wanted to go through this article. It just reinforces some of the things that we think are important pieces of wisdom. For not only you, but whenever we talk about this stuff, we’re really applying it to our lives. Tim and I are talking to ourselves, to one another, and we go through this stuff. I hope you guys realize that that are listening. We’re not sitting here preaching to you. We’re actively working on breakthrough mental barriers.
Shawn: And we’ve talked on this show about we’ve had body dysmorphia. We’ve had eating disorders. We’ve had impostor syndrome. We’ve had suicidal thoughts. We have our own mental barriers. So, I hope that sinks in that we’re here to help you because of the things that we’ve been through, and we are going through. I’m not on the other side of this.
Shawn: I mean, I continue to battle my insecurities. I continue to battle my weaknesses, my shortcomings, my mental barriers. But I’m starting to learn by doing this show and helping others, I’m helping myself. And I’m starting to learn that these aren’t so much weaknesses as, look, it just depends on the scenario. It’s reframing, right? A lot of the things that you think are weaknesses are strengths in other scenarios, and vice versa. You just have to realize where your strengths lie and what those scenarios are and just focus more on those. But that’s why we need other people, too.
Shawn: Because they have strengths where we don’t. We’re all puzzle pieces and we need to be put together to form something beautiful, something incredible. We cannot do it on our own. If you were here on this planet, by yourself. You were just dropped in with no learnings, no prior learnings from all the other generations that have come before you, and you had to survive with the elements, with the animals. Do you know how difficult that would be? It would be profoundly difficult. You’d have no idea how to build a shelter, no idea what cold water is or how the elements can harm you. You had a no idea that that animal is now dangerous. You’d have no idea about what’s safe and what’s not safe, what’s life-giving and what’s [chuckles] life-taking. And you would be stumbling around and there’s a good chance you wouldn’t make it, quite frankly, very far.
Shawn: We need other people. Life is beautiful because of other people. We all have our “strengths and weaknesses,” but I don’t even like thinking about them as weaknesses, per se. We are what we are. And we all have beauty in our own ways, we all have genius in our own ways, and we just need to focus on our areas of genius and ask for help in the areas where we’re not genius. And we can’t be great at everything. It’s a reality. So, I don’t know. [laughs] I’m just going off on a tangent there.
Tim: No, that’s amazing. One of the words that keeps coming out, like you say, reframing, and that’s super important when it comes to mental barriers.
Tim: We talked about perception, perspective. So much of this is about a paradigm shift in that mindset that we’ve talked about. And other people can help us shine a different type of light on failures or situations that we might encounter. So, that’s another reason why other people are important. Again, not that everything’s 100% happy all the time or anything like that. Or that you always have to “look on the bright side,” but we do have to look at things through a different lens sometimes.
We talked about difference between wearing our failure filtered glasses versus our success filtered glasses, and how that can help us see challenges as opportunities to learn, to grow, and to get better. And how we can see supposed setbacks as a launchpad for success. So, overcoming mental barriers starts with putting on those correct glasses.
Tim: So that we view things in the right lens.
Shawn: Exactly. It’s not always if something’s good or bad. To your point, everything is an opportunity. Look, you get the great new job; it’s an opportunity. You lose your job; it’s an opportunity. You meet the girl of your dreams; it’s an opportunity. You have a nightmare girlfriend and you’ve got to break up with her; it’s an opportunity. Everything is a learning and an opportunity. That’s the beauty of life.
And again, if you depend on the people around you, then you can get even more learnings and you can fast-forward your journey and be more successful, by taking their learnings and their “missteps” or failures that they learned from, and using those as guidance. So, I think there’s a beauty in all that.
Shawn: “Do the thing you’re afraid of over and over again. When I was a teen, I loved the movie The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. There was a scene I never forgot. The singer is in a cabin in the woods talking with her bodyguard’s father and asked him why his son [The Bodyguard] isn’t afraid of anything. The father answers, ‘When he was a kid, if something scared him, he just did that thing over and over again until the fear went away.’ As a teenager, I took that advice to heart and when something scared me I would just do it over and over again until the fear went away. It really works. I now know that this is technically called ‘exposure therapy’ and it is very effective for reducing fear.”
I would say this is essentially conditioning ourselves to break through mental barriers. We always think of conditioning Pavlov’s dogs where the bell goes off and they start salivating, or whatever. And we are conditioned in so many ways. And we always think of conditioning as negative, but there is a positive type of conditioning where it’s just over time you’re doing it over and over again. This thing just doesn’t hold power over you anymore. It becomes something that’s routine.
Tim: Yeah, definitely. In a previous episode we talked about how expectations can lead us to setbacks and create mental barriers. Well, expectation of situations that we fear, the fear is usually worse than how things really manifest, right.
Tim: It’s like, man, that water is really cold. I don’t know if I want to jump in there. And you just dip your toe in there and it’s not that bad. And you can get on there and it’s cold, very cold for the first few seconds. You adapt, you could become conditioned to it. So, if there is something that you’re afraid of, stick your toe in the water and see what happens.
Tim: Or just jump in there.
Shawn: Or just cannonball in. [laughs]
Tim: [laughs] Just jump right in there.
Shawn: Take life and have fun with it. The first thing I think of with this is really public speaking, because that is the number one fear people have. And I do that and I face this over and over. People have seen me speak in front of 2,500 people, and I’ve spoken in front of my Mastermind with 40 people and I’m practically shaking.
Shawn: And sometimes it’s harder with a small group of people that you really respect than it is kind of this faceless sea. It’s hard to describe. But it just depends on the moment, sometimes. I find different reasons to be scared and psych myself out. And some of the tools I’ve found is: one, doing it over and over; two, preparing as best I can; three, smiling before I go up there. And then the reframing thing. What’s the worst that’s going to happen out of this? Look, this is an incredible opportunity, and I try and focus on the one person I see in the crowd that’s really getting something out of this, that’s engaging me back in the eyes, and I’m looking at them in the eyes. And now I’m excited because at least one person is really taking something away from this, and then it makes all the other people there just become less relevant. And once you get that level of comfort that you’re connecting with one person, then I think you can connect with a whole crowd.
Tim: Yeah. Do you think that there’s carryover there? And what I mean by that is, let’s say there’s two different things you’re afraid of — two different mental barriers so to speak. One thing you’re really afraid of and the other thing you’re afraid of but not nearly as much. If you did that that thing you’re not quite as afraid as much of, if you did that, do you think it would lessen the amount of fear that you have to that other thing? Would it help you get there faster?
Shawn: Absolutely. I think that’s what you’re talking about and we’ve talked about before is that resiliency. That when you can deal with stress well and you can reframe the stress, that’s one thing, but then conquering some mental barriers that have been in your way that you feel are undoable or just too difficult. And when you start checking those boxes, it’s funny how things just start seeming doable.
Shawn: This isn’t impossible. I did that other thing and people said I couldn’t do it. I didn’t even think I could do it, but I did it. I can do these other things. I can do this.
Tim: Like a snowball effect, maybe.
Shawn: Yeah, exactly.
Tim: Interesting. I think you’re right.
Shawn: Exactly. I love that, Tim. That was a great point. “Get up and go do something. sometimes people expect that if it’s meant to be, it will simply come to them. Well, okay, you can believe that if you want, but life just doesn’t work that way. Action is necessary. You have to put in a little sweat equity to achieve your goals. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from author, T Harv Eker, ‘If you are only willing to do what’s easy, life will be hard. If you are willing to do what’s hard, life will be easy.’ Having the courage to do what it takes and to make difficult decisions will lead you to where you want to be. A great way to get unstuck is to start doing something.
That brings us back to number one. Lots of folks don’t get started because they’re afraid they’ll put in all the hard work and will fail. But if you don’t try, you definitely fail to achieve your goal.” I totally agree with this. I’ve said it before, I always think I this quote from I think it’s the Hobbit, where he says something about it’s a funny thing. You just put one foot in front of the other and you never know where you’re going to end up. He just talks about how he goes on all these journeys. But these incredible journeys to meet Smaug the dragon, to meet Gandalf the wizard, to do these things that none of the other hobbits in his whole shire have done. How did that happen? By putting one foot in front of the other. He’s a little hobbit.
The great part of that story is he’s diminutive, right? And no one expects anything of him. And he isn’t some incredible warrior with a sword or an elf with his bow, and all these things, or the wizard with the spells and all that. He’s just this little hobbit. And he has no special powers. He just has a courageous mind and an adventurous heart. And he sets out on his journey by just putting one foot in front of the other. And it’s that simple sometimes to just take one step and then take another step, and then take another step. And there you are, you’re unstuck. You’re not wallowing in, “I can’t do it.” You’re not overwhelmed and helpless. You’re moving forward, and sometimes it doesn’t matter if it’s the right thing. [chuckles] It doesn’t matter if it’s all going to work out or if it’s perfect, or it’s the best path. It just matters that you’re moving. Just get up and move.
Tim: Exactly, Shawn. And I think sometimes we create mental barriers because we get so overwhelmed with the big picture, like the end goal. If I’m at point A, what it takes to get to point B. Well, you can start by breaking that down. Break that journey down into little milestones, little markers, and just take that first step. For instance, exercise is intimidating to some people. They just don’t want to do it. Just start by putting your shoes on. And if that’s okay, take a step out the door. Okay, you made it that far, get in your car. Okay, drive to the gym. Okay, you made it that far, are you going to go back now? If you’re still feeling like you don’t want to do it, just go inside. Just that one next step. We just get so overwhelmed with this big picture.
Think about a recipe. If you look at a picture of this amazing recipe, it’s like, “Wow, that looks awesome, but how do I get there?” Well, get your ingredients. Take step one, step two, step three. Break things down into steps, like you were talking about.
Here’s another example that those things are a bit more linear. Here’s another example that that resonates with me, that’s not quite as linear. How about writing an article, a thousand word article? It’s not a lot, but it’s substantial for most people.
Tim: Where do I start? It’s just paralyzing. Well, just whatever is on your mind, just start writing wherever and then come back to it later, chisel away at it later. It doesn’t matter. Just start putting some things down on paper. Just take that step. So, just a few examples that came to mind about overcoming mental barriers.
Shawn: Yeah, exactly. The writer’s block is a great example of that. And to your point, that’s the one step, like you just start putting words to paper, and the paper. It’s that simple. And you let it go from there and all of a sudden you’re unstuck. So yeah, great examples, Tim. “4. Get comfortable with uncertainty. Play the pro version of the what-if game. Do you ever play the what-if game? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I get hurt? What if people laugh at me? Well, if that’s the game you’re playing in your mind, with all due respect, you’re playing the amateur version. If you’re going to play, play like a pro. It goes a little something this. What if doesn’t work out? Well, I guess I’ll try something else. But what if that doesn’t work? I can keep trying until I find something that does work. What if people laugh at me? I’m not going to be defined by what other people think of me. Plus, my friends won’t laugh at me because they love me. You see how that works? The what-if game can actually be a great tool if you play all the way through.”
I just got back from the Summit of Greatness with Lewis Howes, and everything he does is great. I’m a huge fan of Lewis and I’m in his School of Greatness Mastermind and I really love him as a person. And he shared something that was very intense. It’s in his book, Mask of Masculinity, but he also shared it in a documentary and discussed it on stage, is his sexual abuse. And he was repeatedly sexually abused as a child. And it was powerful that he got up there and shared that and that has an impact on everyone else to share those things as well.
And that that was profound for me, that this man could share those kinds of things and it made me feel like I can share anything. And he talked about that the first thing he did to get over those mental barriers, which was important. Someone asked, “How did you do that? Didn’t you worry about what people think, if people would laugh at you,” similar to what’s mentioned here. Sad to think some people laugh at him, but you never know. And you have all these thoughts that keep you from sharing those things. And he kept it inside for 20 years, or whatever it was. And he said to himself that, “I asked my family, ‘Is there anything I can do or say that will make you not love me?’ And when they all said no, I felt comfortable to share everything.”
Shawn: Yeah, so that’s a deep. That was a powerful thought for me. We’re beating ourselves up in ways we don’t need to. And you know what? When I read the “Play it like a pro game,” to me the play it a pro game version of what-if is what if I don’t do this? What if I really do succeed? In other words, take a look at the flip side of these mental barriers.
Tim: Right, what if it does work?
Shawn: What if I crush it and I’d have this life-changing event. What if everyone is blown away by my story? What if I tell my story, and by it, it changes lives and people feel comfortable to tell their story, like Lewis Howes did. Do you know how many people out there in that crowd were like, “Man, he had the courage to do that? I now feel comfortable to tell my story. Things that have been breaking me down.” To Dr. Lynn Marie’s point about just how some of these things that are in our brain that have been in our past that we’re holding in that are just breaking our health down, right?
Tim: Yeah, definitely.
Shawn: So, I think the pro version is to say what if you didn’t do this.
Tim: No, that’s exactly what I was thinking, that we were going to go with that one.
Shawn: Nice. That’s awesome. Well actually, I’ll let you read the last one.
Tim: Yes, number five on this list, “Recognize that you are both imperfect and enough. I’ll never forget the last episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show. She stood alone on her stage talking to her audience and one of the things she said that really stuck with me is that in her 25 years of doing the show and the thousands of people from all walks of life she’s interviewed, everyone has had the same common fear: am I enough. We are all worried that we are not enough of something. Not smart enough, not thin enough, not accomplished enough, not pretty enough. In other words, we feel that who we are is not enough to accomplish our goals; be it writing a novel or being loved unconditionally. Here’s the thing. You are both completely messed up and totally enough, simultaneously. We all are. Know that, and fear will begin to dissipate. Then nothing will hold you back.”
Shawn: Man, that’s just the ultimate mic drop.
Tim: Yeah, talk about breaking through mental barriers.
Shawn: More than probably anything that we’ve ever talked about on the show. I’m sure you guys have heard “I am enough” and those kind of quotes, and man, it is a powerful thought. And I’ve never made this connection that really everyone is struggling with that, with all their fears.
Shawn: And that’s profound that Oprah Winfrey connected those dots. You know, we both struggle with this, everyone struggles with this. So know that every single person on the planet is struggling with if they are enough. But basically, the beauty we talked about before is yes, we are imperfect. We have our weaknesses, we have our strengths. We just talked about that. But that makes you beautiful and there’s someone else out there that has another area of genius, different from your area genius. And no, you’re not good at a hundred things. Just be great at the thing that is in your DNA, and just own that. And get help from everyone else to do the things that aren’t your wheelhouse.
Because there’s so many brilliant people out there at everything you could possibly want to do in this world. You have to learn to reach out and ask for help. You have to learn how to lift other people up and bring them into your life, and recognize it’s not about me versus this person. It’s not about trying to do better than the person next to you. It’s lifting that person up and you both doing better as a result. That’s very simple but we get in this competitive mindset. No one is like you. No one has the gifts you have. No one has your exact area of genius, that has your exact life experiences, your exact genetics, your exact approach. There’s no one. There’s no one else that does it exactly like you. No one. So stop trying to be someone else and get help from the people around you that do other things better than you. And have them help you as a mentor, as a coach, as a guide.
There’s so much out there for us to learn from, if you let it be a lesson, and stop having this fear of failure, overcome these mental barriers. Success is everywhere around you. You’re so blessed, it’s insane. I know it. Whoever is listening to this show is very blessed. You are enough and you have so many things that are amazing in your life right now. You need to be thankful for those things. Instead of focusing on that one thing that’s wrong, focus on the 99 things that are amazing in your life, and you are enough. And Tim and I love you guys.
Tim: Yeah, we do. And just to share that, that you talked about before, share that gift with others and help others overcome their mental barriers and just you need to ask for help, be prepared to help others, be that mentor for others. It feels great and that’s what we’re here for. I mean, you’ve talked about this before, Shawn, in so many different ways. And we’re here to share that gift with others, and it’s powerful. So, we’re proud of you guys and we hope that you get out there and make a difference in other people’s lives.
Shawn: Absolutely. And it’s a blessing that you’re listening to this show because Tim and I really love doing this show, and it’s a joy that we get to touch lives and change lives and educate people. And we feel transformed every time we do this, so we thank you for listening and supporting us. It’s such an amazing experience. We’re 50‑some episodes in and no sign of stopping, and we feel we just keep getting better and better, and we keep impacting more and more people. I think we, ourselves, honestly Tim, over this past year I feel I’ve grown a ton, and I feel this show has been a big part of it.
Shawn: Me, talking myself through this stuff, it’s therapy. And so thank you for all these people listening, for me working through my own stuff, for me having therapy and you listening to it. So, we’re helping each other, and that’s really the whole point of this thing. And I feel I’m gaining the strength to say I am enough and realize that I’m imperfect and that’s okay.
Perfect sucks. Really, perfect sucks. Let’s just say that. There’s nothing, there’s no one that’s perfect, and there’s nothing great about perfection. Perfect sucks. So let’s nip those mental barriers in the bud. That great story that we love about Rocky and Rudy and the gladiator, and Braveheart, and Luke Skywalker, and [chuckles] whatever story you want to come up with, I mean, it all comes from that person who is broken and takes that journey and become something great, coming from broken. And they’re never perfect.
And of course, they have that mentor along the way, like Luke Skywalker had Obi Wan or Rocky had Mickey and the Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio had Pat Morita, Mr. Miyagi. There’s always the guide and there’s always the hero, but the hero isn’t perfect. No one should be. We don’t want to be. The story we love is the story of the person that was counted out that made good. That had incredible resolve and overcame. And that’s your story, that’s my story, that’s all of our stories, is we are enough and we can do it if you believe it. So, really appreciate you. Love you guys. Thanks for listening.
Tim: Take care, guys.